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Marriage is meant for two matured people whom have respect for each other but i have seen where couples insult each other in public but couples suppose not speak that way to each other in public (or in private, for that matter)! If they do so it is one of the signs of a bad marriage in our own relationship, but we can regroup and try to correct the problem before it becomes too destructive. Here are the 5 signs of a bad marriage.
1. You are rude to each other.
No one can be polite 24/7 this is ture, but if rude is your default there’s a problem. Some people use rudeness as a cover to correct their wives for what they did or failed to do but it should not be so because when you use become rude to your wife it shows that you don't value her.
How to fix it:
First, ask yourself why you are being rude to her. Is it a passive-aggressive way to get back at her? Is there a bigger issue you need to discuss? After you’ve considered those questions, talk to your wife and say something like this:
“honey, I know we’re both nice people, but I admit I haven’t been acting that way towards you. I apologize for being rude and short with you. I’m going to do my best to treat you with kindness.” Then, even if she doesn’t listen to what you said, move forward with your resolution.
2. You disrespect each other in front of your children.
It can be a bit better when you disrespect each other when no one is around. In that case, you’re only hurting yourselves. But if you act that way in front of your children, you’re hurting them too.
How to fix it:
Children need to see their parents as a team and devoted to each other for the good of the family. It is not good for you to tear down your wife in front of your kids, you are damaging your children’s sense of security. You want them to see their mom as a great woman. If you treat her disrespectfully, they’ll have negative feelings toward her too. Or, they’ll feel sorry for her and take her side over yours. In other words, your actions will either alienate your children from their father or from you. Either way is not good. So starting today, treat your wife respectfully in front of your children. (She should compliment you in front of the kids as well.)
3. You assume the worst about each other.
This is called negative interpretation, or mind reading. For example, if your wife says, “Where’s the dry cleaning?” You hear, “Why didn’t you pick up the dry cleaning? You never get it when it’s your turn.” When you’re in the “assume the worst” mindset, you also focus on your wife’s mistakes. Not only does this foster negative feelings in you toward your wife, it makes her feel pretty worthless in your eyes too.
How to fix it:
The fix is actually simple – assume the best. Don’t read a negative message into what your wife says, how she acts, or what she chooses to do. Don't rush to make decisions If in doubt, ask her what she meant and give her a chance to explain what she meant.
4. You don’t like spending time together.
Couples are suppose to spend quality time together when they arw chanced be it in yhe morning, afternoon or night especially when they are not with the kids so that they can learn about each other and express their love but when you don't do this it makes no sense .
How to fix it:
The only way you will grow closer to your wife is to spend time with her alone—that’s the first step. When you are together, make that time exempt from serious discussions or hot-button issues. Keep it light, keep it fun. Go in with a good attitude. Prepare yourself to have fun and be fun.
5. You argue instead of discuss.
When you argue always instead of discussing with each other it does no good to your marriage, you are suppose to discuss as husband and wife to learn from each other and also discuss on a topic that suits both of you because argument is very dangerous to relationship
How to fix it:
You can learn to communicate better! Go to your wife and tell her that you want to be able to talk about things with her, but don’t point a finger at her. Then use these ideas to learn to discuss instead of argue.
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1. You are rude to each other.
No one can be polite 24/7 this is ture, but if rude is your default there’s a problem. Some people use rudeness as a cover to correct their wives for what they did or failed to do but it should not be so because when you use become rude to your wife it shows that you don't value her.
Welcome to Gistclinic Articles: 8 Common Problems Encountered in Marriage
How to fix it:
First, ask yourself why you are being rude to her. Is it a passive-aggressive way to get back at her? Is there a bigger issue you need to discuss? After you’ve considered those questions, talk to your wife and say something like this:
“honey, I know we’re both nice people, but I admit I haven’t been acting that way towards you. I apologize for being rude and short with you. I’m going to do my best to treat you with kindness.” Then, even if she doesn’t listen to what you said, move forward with your resolution.
2. You disrespect each other in front of your children.
It can be a bit better when you disrespect each other when no one is around. In that case, you’re only hurting yourselves. But if you act that way in front of your children, you’re hurting them too.
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How to fix it:
Children need to see their parents as a team and devoted to each other for the good of the family. It is not good for you to tear down your wife in front of your kids, you are damaging your children’s sense of security. You want them to see their mom as a great woman. If you treat her disrespectfully, they’ll have negative feelings toward her too. Or, they’ll feel sorry for her and take her side over yours. In other words, your actions will either alienate your children from their father or from you. Either way is not good. So starting today, treat your wife respectfully in front of your children. (She should compliment you in front of the kids as well.)
3. You assume the worst about each other.
This is called negative interpretation, or mind reading. For example, if your wife says, “Where’s the dry cleaning?” You hear, “Why didn’t you pick up the dry cleaning? You never get it when it’s your turn.” When you’re in the “assume the worst” mindset, you also focus on your wife’s mistakes. Not only does this foster negative feelings in you toward your wife, it makes her feel pretty worthless in your eyes too.
How to fix it:
The fix is actually simple – assume the best. Don’t read a negative message into what your wife says, how she acts, or what she chooses to do. Don't rush to make decisions If in doubt, ask her what she meant and give her a chance to explain what she meant.
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4. You don’t like spending time together.
Couples are suppose to spend quality time together when they arw chanced be it in yhe morning, afternoon or night especially when they are not with the kids so that they can learn about each other and express their love but when you don't do this it makes no sense .
How to fix it:
The only way you will grow closer to your wife is to spend time with her alone—that’s the first step. When you are together, make that time exempt from serious discussions or hot-button issues. Keep it light, keep it fun. Go in with a good attitude. Prepare yourself to have fun and be fun.
5. You argue instead of discuss.
When you argue always instead of discussing with each other it does no good to your marriage, you are suppose to discuss as husband and wife to learn from each other and also discuss on a topic that suits both of you because argument is very dangerous to relationship
Welcome to Gistclinic Articles: The Harm Material Things Causes In Relationship
How to fix it:
You can learn to communicate better! Go to your wife and tell her that you want to be able to talk about things with her, but don’t point a finger at her. Then use these ideas to learn to discuss instead of argue.
Was this article helpful?
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